The Cheezits: Colby and Cheddar: dead lizard

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Oh Hai! It's me, Cheddar.

I would like to take issue wif certain kittehs *makes laser eyes at Colby* that have been...hold on, wot's dat phrase Mom told me? Here it is: "Impugning my character."

Ahem. It's true that, on occasion, my meow sounds a bit...squeaky. So much so that, in fact, the beans sometimes call it my "battle squeak." But dat does NOT mean I am a girly cat!

No, I am a big, strong, very-nearly Mancat. See, even "battle squeak" tells you so, because battle means fightin', right? And girls don't fight--oh, wait a minute.

Fancy fights.

Hmm.

Well, anyway, here is a pikshur of me and Colby wif a lizard dat I helped kill. Would a girly kitteh do that?

She would?

Well, it doesn't matter! I may be floofy, but I'm as masculine as dey come. Right, ladies?

um...right?

Who Are Dese Orangey Kittehs, Anyway?

Once, we were just two scared little kittens, clinging to our mother. We must have been very poor, because we weren't very clean or healthy and we had (this is so embarrassing) worms and stuff. We lived day-to-day, and we both remember being very hungry, all the time.

It seemed like we were barely old enough to walk when we were taken away from our mother and brought to a strange place, with lots of other cats (and big scary dogs!). We didn't know why, or what we had done. This place became known to us only as the Shelter.

So, there we were: at the Shelter, in a cage, cuddled together, keeping our spirits up and waiting for a chance to escape, not knowing what else to do, when a surprising new face came to see us.

She smiled at us, and looked us over without poking her fingers in our faces. She made sure our itchy ears were cleaned and those embarrassing worms were taken care of. And she didn't put us back into the cage.

Instead, she took us to a new, totally different place. A place where we have lots of food to eat and fresh water to drink. A place where there's always clean litter. Where there are toys to chase and soft places to sleep.

And we learned a new word.

That word is, "Home."

We are Colby and Cheddar. And this is our story.